A gift or present?
When I turned 14, a boy who was probably 15 gave me an alarm clock for my birthday. Let’s call him Flavor Flav.
I guess I looked like a bitch who needed help waking up on time. I don’t know.
He said he liked me.
Imagine my excitement at seeing the unexpected, well-wrapped package. “He remembered. How sweee-eeet”!
When I unwrapped the package, my Black Southern Baptist - Black excellence - civility politics kicked in. I flashed a big smile and hugged him. I thanked Flavor Flav at least three times. I held character until he drove off on his mo-ped. [And scene.]
The thing is, I’ve always had lots of interests. Within 10 minutes of talking to me, at any age, a slightly awake person (who listens to me) could think of any number of gifts (things I would really want) for me.
Someone had told Flavor Flav, bless his 15 year-old heart, that girls like it when you buy them things. So, he bought me a thing that fell flat with me. He bought me a PRESENT: something HE wanted to give me. This dude liked electronics and gadgets. And he was pleased with his selection for me.
It’s not that I disliked the clock. See, I felt no connection to it and now distant from the person who gave it to me.
Perhaps you’re saying, “this is how 15 year-old boys are”. That’s legit, but stick with me here.
I talk alot about the importance of knowing, planning around and responding to what your ideal client wants.
While I was not Flavs “client”, he made some assumptions about an exchange. It was supposed to go this way: he gives me a clock; I give him time, attention and adoration. Things didn’t go that way. I saw no part of myself in this gesture.
Think of your business as Flav and your clients as me, the recipient of the alarm clock.
Sure, you can give really pretty presents (disconnected offers) that flex your skills and resources. In the attention economy, that won’t do it. You will just drain your time, energy and other resources. If you want to create meaningful offers for your ideal client, gifts they really want, show them you heard them.
Whatever you do: don’t give a well-rested, fly, 14 year-old chick an alarm clock, unless she says she wants an alarm clock.